Barcelona, Bocadillos & Barlow!

It was the first time I had shared dinner with a retired Crown Court judge. The fact that it had taken me 61 years to achieve this notable milestone and that we were both sailing the Mediterranean, was incidental. Still, something told me it was going to be an entertaining evening!

“I was always telling him to wear his wig,” said his better half, “but he’d invariably take it off. ‘It’s there as a disguise so that they (the criminals) won’t know what you look like’ I kept reminding him, but he wouldn’t have it!”

Our grinning member of the judiciary, who, up to that point, had sat quietly at her side, joined in. “I remember one veteran lag who once came before me.

His defence barrister asked for leniency because his client was nearing retirement. ‘If your honour could think in terms of a sentence in months, that would be gratefully received’ he said. I was happy to oblige: I gave him 86!”

The table was helpless with laughter and so the anecdotes went on as each of us swapped stories in the relaxed, up-market calm of Aqua, one of the four silver service ‘Freedom’ Restaurants on board P&O Cruises Iona cruise liner, the largest ship built for the UK market and, with a cool price tag of £700m+, 184,700 tonnes of unadulterated luxury.

But, it was that moment with ‘the judge’ that began the wider tale of the 18-deck Iona (19 if you include the external sports deck at the top of the vessel), a beautiful liner with capacity for 5,200 guests in 2614 passenger cabins: it is a place where individuals of the most extraordinary variety meet to share a common goal: the desire to travel the world in style.
Lower down on Deck 5 off duty police officer, Ross, was putting his son through his paces. It was just after 7am and the gym was already a hive of activity.

“One two, one two. Again, come on son, you can’t be eatin’ all that grub upstairs without a good work out. You’ve got a fight when you get back!”

The young ‘Rocky’ was 9-year-old Oliver from Wales and dad was busy keeping him in shape, despite the culinary temptations a few floors up, so that he’d be ready for his next fight.

“We’re always ‘ere’ for an hour and an ‘alf’ just after 7am,” said dad in his Welsh lilt, quickly giving me a run down on his youngster’s prowess with the gloves.

“He’s beatin’ kids twice his height,” said proud dad.

Taking my leave of the gym I decided not to test the theory! Oliver’s right hook looked decidedly lethal and the prospect of being felled by someone half my size seemed less attractive than an early morning breakfast in the 16th floor Horizon buffet restaurant, where people were now stirring.

Chatter was rife. Did I know that Gary Barlow – front man of the boy band Take That – would soon be on board to give two charity solo shows?

Did I know? It was hard not to know because he was the talk of the ship, and demand for tickets to his show in Headliners Theatre was so high, that allocation would be determined by a lottery draw: I secured one of the ‘Golden Tickets’ but kept quiet, fearing a mutiny by the not-so-lucky!

Barlow is music director of The 710 Club, which is one of Iona’s more intimate venues for live music, and a stunning environment in which to showcase exceptional talent: Harrison on piano, Andy on lead guitar, Jake and Tom on drums were the inspired musicians playing when we were there. They were truly brilliant and we must have visited the venue five times.

However, in the name of musical appreciation, I did decline to partake of Mr Barlow’s own range of wines which, of course, were there to be sampled each night! My fellow traveller also discovered that her favourite tipple was at another location just around the corner.

P&O Cruises have partnered with award-winning gin distiller, Salcombe Gin, to develop and install the first distillery at sea on board Iona, making it possible to stagger to bed whilst blaming an inconsistent gait on rough seas!

And, to a large extent, it is that time ‘upon the water’ that is as much fun as port visits themselves because there is so much to do for those who want to engage: line dancing, learning the cha cha, quizzes, or listening to informative lectures on L.S Lowry or popular living artist, Jack Vettriano, courtesy of the team at Whitewall Galleries.

“There are just shy of 190 steps from the gym on deck 5 to level 17. I know because I walk them at least twice a day!”

It was a novel way of keeping fit but one passenger had found that it worked for her, a sure-fire way of keeping the pounds at bay, especially with so much food temptation at hand!

The Keel and Cow ‘gastro-pub’ is where passengers can enjoy perfectly cooked steaks chosen from a glass fronted dry aging fridge, whilst The Quays is a new destination offering cuisines from across the globe, including Asian street food or even American diner classics.

Sindhu is the wonderful authentic Indian restaurant and Epicurean the fine dining offer, with exquisite dishes inspired by British ingredients along with flawless service in elegant surrounds. But, if you fancy a ‘hybrid’ offer then dine whilst being entertained in the Limelight ClubTwo days into our journey and, after 48 hours on the water, we were glad to sample the wares of Vigo in Northwest Spain......largely closed because of a national holiday – All Soul’s Day – although the prospect of a coffee in one of the pedestrianised areas was still attractive, as was the chance to sample a freshly prepared Bocadillo with Serrano ham and cheese. An hour-long Segway tour (£48 per head) also gave us a quick appreciation of the city in a fun way.By now most people were starting to get to grips with the ship’s sprawling layout as well as the online booking app, which everyone is encouraged to download at the outset and use on the internal communications link to book everything from a meal to a show. You can even monitor your on-board spends, access medical assistance or get general information about any aspect of the Iona.

Some will find it marginally frustrating at first - certainly older people - however, with every passing day it really does become easier.Back on board at Deck 17 wires were starting to appear from the stunning glass SkyDome ceiling, home to contemporary on-board entertainment, including an aerial acrobatics show, inspired, no doubt, by the likes of Cirque Du Soleil.

The two-deck SkyDome – it also embraces deck 16 - includes a swimming pool that transforms into a stage at night, as well as a glass dome roof which creates a temperate climate while providing incredible views.

By day, it is a relaxed, poolside environment, with dining and drinking options including the grill, pizzeria and street food while, by night, transitioning into an all-embracing entertainment venue.

By any other definition, the Iona is a self-contained city. For some people Barcelona, Cadiz, Lisbon and Malaga are a slight interruption to the daily proceedings of life at sea!

For life’s on-board ‘doers’ there’s plenty to think about 247...... whilst for the world’s ‘relaxers’ the ship’s Grand Atrium features uninterrupted panoramic views of the sea, framed by windows stretching three decks high

It is a central focus for travellers with a show-stopping staircase that takes you through an open area, designed to complement and reflect the outdoor views. Not everyone disembarks on shore days! It is easy to see why!

Film buffs will love Ocean Studios, another first for P&O Cruises. This boutique cinema boasts comfortable seating in a premium style setting and then there are ice creams, coffees, sandwiches, self-service, silver service, room service! The list goes on.

Not forgetting, of course, visits to the likes of Portugal’s LISBON where we sampled its famous Pastel De Nata ‘custard tarts’......probably best eaten at Pastéis de Belém, the birthplace of this Portuguese favourite, originated in 1837 by monks from the adjacent Jerónimos Monastery.

Then there was CADIZ…..MALAGA…..Torremolinos on horseback......and the stunning Jardin Huerto Del Cura in the UNESCO world heritage city of Elche, via the Port of Alicante.

It is said that Antoni Gaudi first imagined Barcelona's spectacular Sagrada Familia ‘Cathedral’ more than 100 years ago.

It is still under construction.

The Iona took two years from inception to completion.

Not quite Barcelona’s masterpiece in terms of Cathedral architecture, perhaps, but, every time you see it, you will probably draw breath at its sheer size and majesty.

And, if you are lucky enough to experience the Iona, then rest assured, you are guaranteed to make memories that will last you a lifetime.
Phil Hopkins was on a 14-night cruise on Iona to Spain and Portugal with P&O Cruises.

A similar cruise can be booked at www.pocruises.com with prices starting from £699pp for an inside cabin.

Sample search: G303 - Spain and Portugal Cruise - 28/01/2023 to 11/2/2023